Sunday
Jan242010
Week Three: I Can Help
Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 9:33AM
Blindfolded, I was fed by my partner. She cut up my PB&J into little squares and spoon fed me bite by bite. Sips of water came through a straw. Spoonfuls of soup were tested for temperature and fed to me little by little. It took a long time to eat. I reciprocated for my partner and we both seemed to think the same thing. Feeding another person was easy. Being fed by another person was hard.
---
Wedged under my backside was a bedpan. I'd never been on one and I hope I never have to use it. Not comfy. Awkward. And like most people I'm sorta used to pooping in private. The male urinal wouldn't be a problem, but that little plastic dish called a bedpan? Yikes.
---
That I eat too much meat wasn't news. That the food pyramid insists on three cups of milk per day was. I don't do so well with milk if it isn't cooked. Some yogurts are fine, others jack up my insides. My Cheerios are bathed in Rice Dream daily. Somehow, according to the gubment, I'm supposed to hold back on the animals but eat more of their milk. Riddle me that. USDA, you're fulla corn and soy, like ~85% of what people find in a grocery store, housewares included.
---
Glad I had a Medical Terminology course prior to these CNA classes. I can't overemphasize how useful the familiarity with anatomy, general terminology, and the introduction to pathology I received in Med Term was. I wouldn't be surprised if in some places it becomes a prerequisite. We blazed through very general anatomy in a day. I aced both quizzes, but mostly because I knew the source material. Had this all been new information, I'm not sure I would have done as well.
---
If you fall and are unresponsive, I know what to do now. This week I was certified by The American Heart Association to perform Basic Life Support. That means I can pump your heart for you, breathe for you, and if you choke on one of those corn-stuffed soy-laden food products, I will do my best to get it out of your throat as soon as I find your navel.
Adult CPR wasn't so hard. My hands are large enough to work an Ambu-bag fairly well. The child and infant sessions were fairly terrifying. Smaller circulatory system = much less time to respond to a crisis. There are, however, upshots. Bones are more flexible in the youngins and less prone to breakage than the elderly. Compressions are much, much easier. Still, facing a cyanotic infant could possibly stop my own heart with fear. I'm confident I know what to do now, but just thinking about it gives me shivers.
And does anyone else recognize the AED voice as one of the PBS narrators?
If you do not know CPR, please input your zip code on the AHA Website and find a class in your area. Don't wait. You really could save a life with just a few hours of training.
---
This week also kicked off my college classes. My A&P teacher is a dream so far. He's very set in his ways. Anyone who has been teaching since 1958 would be. With a stern face he reviewed the rules of his classroom and laboratory etiquette. It wasn't until his lecture actually began that you could see how much he loved his job. He cracked jokes, used hysterical metaphors and actually taught us something on day one.
Next week we start our clinical work. I'm super excited, but more than anything, I'm actually looking forward to helping. Somehow, I see more poop in my future than I'm imagining.
Stay tuned.
---
Wedged under my backside was a bedpan. I'd never been on one and I hope I never have to use it. Not comfy. Awkward. And like most people I'm sorta used to pooping in private. The male urinal wouldn't be a problem, but that little plastic dish called a bedpan? Yikes.
---
That I eat too much meat wasn't news. That the food pyramid insists on three cups of milk per day was. I don't do so well with milk if it isn't cooked. Some yogurts are fine, others jack up my insides. My Cheerios are bathed in Rice Dream daily. Somehow, according to the gubment, I'm supposed to hold back on the animals but eat more of their milk. Riddle me that. USDA, you're fulla corn and soy, like ~85% of what people find in a grocery store, housewares included.
---
Glad I had a Medical Terminology course prior to these CNA classes. I can't overemphasize how useful the familiarity with anatomy, general terminology, and the introduction to pathology I received in Med Term was. I wouldn't be surprised if in some places it becomes a prerequisite. We blazed through very general anatomy in a day. I aced both quizzes, but mostly because I knew the source material. Had this all been new information, I'm not sure I would have done as well.
---
If you fall and are unresponsive, I know what to do now. This week I was certified by The American Heart Association to perform Basic Life Support. That means I can pump your heart for you, breathe for you, and if you choke on one of those corn-stuffed soy-laden food products, I will do my best to get it out of your throat as soon as I find your navel.
Adult CPR wasn't so hard. My hands are large enough to work an Ambu-bag fairly well. The child and infant sessions were fairly terrifying. Smaller circulatory system = much less time to respond to a crisis. There are, however, upshots. Bones are more flexible in the youngins and less prone to breakage than the elderly. Compressions are much, much easier. Still, facing a cyanotic infant could possibly stop my own heart with fear. I'm confident I know what to do now, but just thinking about it gives me shivers.
And does anyone else recognize the AED voice as one of the PBS narrators?
If you do not know CPR, please input your zip code on the AHA Website and find a class in your area. Don't wait. You really could save a life with just a few hours of training.
---
This week also kicked off my college classes. My A&P teacher is a dream so far. He's very set in his ways. Anyone who has been teaching since 1958 would be. With a stern face he reviewed the rules of his classroom and laboratory etiquette. It wasn't until his lecture actually began that you could see how much he loved his job. He cracked jokes, used hysterical metaphors and actually taught us something on day one.
Next week we start our clinical work. I'm super excited, but more than anything, I'm actually looking forward to helping. Somehow, I see more poop in my future than I'm imagining.
Stay tuned.
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